Am I the only feminist…

27 04 2008

…who is sick of the constant hand-wringing over the kind of consensual sex other folks are having?

I know I said it in a comment on Feministing. And I’ll say it again.

How messed up are our priorities?

Really. We think when some woman (or man) who wants to be a human naked sushi table or wear a sexy “French maid” outfit or (gasp) perform in porn it’s the end of the world? That it’s so awful?

Does the term “consent” mean anything to some people? How about “Have a nice big cup of mind your own business“?

It’s seriously disheartening to see “feminists” acting a hell of a lot like the religious right: you know, deciding to hate people for the kind of sex they’re having. And yes, I’m aware the two philosophies, obviously, come from different places. But the result is often the same.

As feminists, to paraphrase my friend Chanelle Gallant, don’t we have bigger fish to fry than porn, BDSM, and what people are friggin’ wearing? Like how about rape? Reproductive justice? Sweatshops? Unequal pay? Racism? Queer-bashing?

The focus on people having the “wrong” kind of sex is kind of silly, when you look at it. In fact, it’s a distraction. A huge distraction from the issues we face which are, for some, a matter of life and death.

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8 responses

28 04 2008
Emily

“Am I the only feminist…who is sick of the constant hand-wringing over the kind of consensual sex other folks are having?”

Nope! Argh.

28 04 2008
Sinead

*pauses with hand restraints and gags in hand*

Wait….so I’ve been doing it wrong all along!?

/runs off crying

29 04 2008
queerunity

I am a feminist who is pro-porn, sex-positive. So you aren’t the only one.

http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com

29 04 2008
Ava

No, you are not the only one! When a woman takes control of her own sex life and chooses to *gasp* do something sexual then it is her damn business. The sooner people realize that what others do in their sex lives isn’t their business, the sooner we will be a better country as a whole.

2 05 2008
Zula

I have to admit, when I first heard about nyataimori (naked sushi), I thought, “OMG I want to do that!” It’s one of my new favorite fantasies – and, fortunately for me, one that’s actually quite feasible.

2 05 2008
Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2008-05-02

[…] Am I the only feminist… « Miss Nomered “…who is sick of the constant hand-wringing over the kind of consensual sex other folks are having?” (No, hon, you certainly are not the only one.) (tags: feminism sex sexuality annoying sexpositive) […]

3 05 2008
alexad

No, you certainly aren’t the only one. I, too, am sick of all of these “feminists” who are so big on women having the right to choose what they want to do, and then whining when they choose to do something the radfems disagree with. Not just this, but sex work as well and everything in between. What’s so sad is that they can’t see the irony in it.

11 05 2008
Amy

But some feminists – like myself – view your form of feminism as damaging to women. We view porn, where women are treated like objects, as damaging to women and society as a whole. And the women who are out there dressing up in french maid oufits for either their pleasure or the pleasure of men – are ruining it for the rest of us who don’t want to viewed as sex objects. So, that is our stance. And no, my view is not about religion. It is about women being viewed as objects, both by men and by other women, and how it is damaging to us.

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