Alright, I’ve been gone for an ungodly amount of time, for which I apologize. I was on bloggy hiatus for a while for a myriad of reasons, but I’m back and will now attempt to post with some kind of regularity. Sorry for abandoning you. (If you’re still reading).
Anyways, this thread over at Amber’s got me thinking. Well, in a tangential way, really.
I was talking to a friend once, and I honestly forget what this conversation was about. Anyways, I said something along the lines of “Well, there’s nothing wrong with having a lot of sex, as long as you’re safe and smart about it.”
She replied “Yeah, but I think there’s an element of low self-esteem that goes into that.”
She might be right, at least some of the time. Yes, some people do have sex because they need validation. However, why is having sex always the thing people like to analyze to death? Especially women having sex? Especially teenage girls having sex.
“Sexually active teenage girl”, at least if you watch TV, has become some kind of synonym for delinquent. I was looking through the “Be on the Show” section of the Dr. Phil website, just out of boredom. (No, you will not be seeing Miss Nomered coming to a TV station near you.) Anyways, an upcoming show is based on this:
“Teen daughter sexually active?”
Groan.
Granted, 13-year-olds having sex is often somewhat concerning, as most 13-year-olds don’t have the maturity level to deal with that. But, what about the 16, 17, and 18 year olds? Older teens have been having sex forever, why is it considered so horrible in the eyes of parents and the media? Especially if the one having sex is a girl?
I keep meaning to write about this – my experience of it when I was a teenager, I mean. Maybe one of these days I’ll *actually get around to it*.
It’s true, women’s sex lives are always under scrutiny some way or another. How many is too many partners? What age is too young to start? There are boundaries you’re right. And most people who are having casual sex are doing so, because they enjoy it. But thats too slutty to say right?
X
That attitude pisses me off too. Especially, as you say, when it’s the sex lives of women that are so over-analysed. There is this unquestioned assumption that women aren’t as sexual as men and that if they have a lot of sex, it’s to please men and gain some kind of validation. *sigh*
On the other hand, people who are workaholics or who are passionate about some other kind of activity are lauded.
welcome and thanks for exposing the double standard that permeates society
Word.
Also there needs to be some blogging on everyone’s behalf about Purity Balls.
They make me wanna puke premature kittens.
[...] why does nudity – women’s nudity, to be exact – equal lack of self-respect? Or fucking, too. I hated that as a teenager so, so much. No, maybe I’m fucking because I like to fuck. As Madonna said, [...]
I’ve been having sex for like…since I was 12. I was going to say “forever”, but it didn’t seem appropriate. When I was like…a girl (er…when I looked like a girl/acted/spoke/pretended to be a girl) people were always like “girrrrrl, you’ve got some self-esteeeeem ishas!”. Okay, maybe just the gay boys said it like that. But everybody said it. Now though, everyone’s like, “man, you’re such a playaaaa.” I think it’s discusting; this double-standard that society has.
For more on double-standards, be sure to read Jessica Valenti’s book “He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut…And 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know”. Also check out http://www.feministing.com